Overcoming disappointment

Then you will know that I am the Lord; those who hope in me will not be disappointed. Isaiah 49: 23

It was a hot, sunny, summer Sunday and an ice cream was just what was needed and not just any ice cream but a proper delicious ice cream cone. So after a quick Google search we found what appeared to be just the thing – Dawlishious ice cream – straight from a farm of Jersey dairy cows. It even had the little knife and fork symbol on the map to denote it was an eatery. Perfect.

The last time we ate ice cream straight from the farm was in America at Richardson’s Farm and Ice Cream Emporium – a massive establishment that served cones and sundaes in 30+ flavours from a multitude of serving hatches.

Now I didn’t expect something quite like that but I did have in mind a small shop serving ice cream cones with maybe a few tables under umbrellas to sit and enjoy our treat. Mrs Google guided us to our destination but when we arrived there was nothing but the farm – no ice cream place. We turned around and made a second pass and found in the farmyard a garden shed from which one could purchase tubs of ice cream in a variety of flavours. No cones, no tables or umbrellas, no one serving just a shed with a freezer and a phone number for service.

The cup of disappointment was deep – my expectations had far exceeded the reality.

Unfortunately that can be the case with life. Too often our expectations, based on previous experiences, far outweigh the reality and set us up for the fall of disappointment. Of course life’s disappointments come in far larger measure than my ‘no show’ ice cream parlour. In fact just recently I have been amazed at how often I expect things to turn out a certain way either because that is ‘always’ how it happens or because that is what happened last time and then find that something completely different occurs.

So how do we cope with life’s disappointments especially the hard ones, the big ones, the life changing ones? How do we deal when a spouse walks out of a marriage that we had such high hopes for or a child who made a commitment to the Lord when younger has now turned their back on God and is not just into a secular life but one dominated by alcohol or drugs? Or in my case when Church and Church leaders have behaved or done things that are not what would expect from Christians?

Unfortunately, over many years, I have been part of churches where leaders and other Christians have behaved in such ungodly ways. I have seen weak leaders overcome by sin and selfish ambition struggling with addictions and the devil’s favourite traps of fame, fortune and females. How do we deal with these situations?

Personally I was so disappointed, hope had disappeared and I was overwhelmed by the great British disease of cynicism. I wasn’t looking for perfection but I did expect leaders of integrity who would honestly seek God and try to the best of their ability to lead their churches into God’s plans and purposes. Churches filled with the power of the Spirit, walking in the fruit and gifts of the Spirit – not churches full of lies, self-ambition and naked sin.

I was sitting in a huge pit of disappointment struggling with hopelessness and a strong desire to give up. I expect we can all identify with this in our own disappointments. BUT God – he didn’t want me to give up, he still had plans and purposes for my life so as I prayed and wept over the frustration and disillusionment I found he is indeed the God of all hope and to him I turned.

Gradually he guided me to people of wise counsel, some encouraging podcasts and messages on the internet till I was ready to make the decision to not dwell in my pit but choose to trust God and let him lift me up on wings like eagles. I turned a corner and where I had found situations almost impossible to engage with I now found things shifting. The situation hadn’t changed – I had.

Life is full of disappointments – big and very small.  We can blame these circumstances for our cynicism and hopelessness or we can turn to our God of all hope to heal our wounded hearts and show us the way out – upwards and onwards. 

I truly pray you will find God in the midst of your disappointments to be the God of hope whose love and encouragement will spur you on to not give up, not give in:

And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, ² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy that was set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³ Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12: 1 – 3

Earlier this year, I took up jogging, something I had never done before in my life. I have always been active but actual jogging – no way. I needed some inspiration to get going so I found a suitable podcast and for 8 weeks followed the programme successfully. The eighth week was particularly inspirational as it used the launch and landing of the space shuttle Discovery to start and end the run.  There was a real sense of achievement after running for 30 minutes nonstop for the first time.

We all need inspiration to help us in our lives. Over the years, many people, Christians and non, have inspired me to live better, to make the most of my life and to give to the world.

However, as Christians we need also to be inspirational. There is so much negativity about Christians and the Church that when people come across someone who has an authentic faith being lived out on a daily basis, it becomes a source of comment, question and hopefully helps someone towards salvation. I know that was very important when we got saved over 30 years ago. The friends who had been encouraging us took us to a water baptism service. It was the first time we had been to a full immersion baptism. I was struck by the fact that the people in this church were getting a lot more from life, church and their Christianity than I certainly was. It was an important step along the way.

We all impact those around us both positively and negatively with our words, actions and attitudes, often quite unrealised. We have a friend in South Africa who has an amazing testimony of God’s deliverance and salvation from drug abuse, prostitution and a lifestyle of abuse.  We were all in our home group one day when she commented that looking at the married couples had really helped her realise that marriage could work. Her experience of marriage had not been good, yet observing the marriages of various older couples – not perfect but working – helped heal her extremely negative view of matrimony.

I am always amazed at the comments people make about my life, telling me they’ve noticed I don’t swear, that I am a Christian even when I’ve said nothing. On one occasion, when I was just standing admiring the bowls green before a game I was asked if I was praying for the match. I wasn’t but I offered to do so if they would like!

We also though need to inspire one another in our Christian walk. I love being around people who have a different or deeper faith to mine but I believe we all have a role to play in inspiring one another. In 1 Thessalonians 5: 11 Paul wrote Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. This was written in the context of Christians awaiting Jesus’ second coming but it’s appropriate in any circumstance.

Encouragement and inspiration may be overt but also unintentional by a positive lifestyle full of love for the Lord, a passion for his name and a consistency in the good and not so good times. God didn’t save us to be grumblers and complainers but to be light to the world, to see things from God’s perspective and to show this to our world.

David and Jonathan

And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.  I Samuel 18: 3

I love the story of David and Jonathan because it is all about two young men who loved God more than anything else and wanted to serve him as best they could.

When Saul was king, before David was on the scene, Jonathan understood something that Saul never understood which was that the Lord was the one who fought for his people and it was the Lord who won the battles (14:6). When Jonathan went out to fight, he went out in that knowledge and had success because of it.

When David defeated Goliath and Saul took him into his army, Jonathan made this covenant almost certainly knowing that David’s success would mean he would not inherit the kingdom from his father. Jonathan stood up for David in the face of Saul’s insane attacks on David’s life. He risked his own life to support David (20:33) and consistently helped David to be aware of Saul’s murderous plans and to help him escape from them.

It takes a great man of God to stand by and help someone who will take the role that should have been theirs.  Jonathan should have succeeded Saul as king and yet instead of siding with his father and trying to overthrow and kill the one who was going to take his place, he actively supported David. One of my favourite verses is ‘Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in the Lord (I Samuel 23: 16). How we all need people who will not just give us sympathy but will help us find strength from God in our times of need.

I wonder if David would have been able to keep going and trust God to help him do what was right in the face of severe provocation from Saul if Jonathan had not been there for him. How difficult it must have been to know that God had anointed him king and yet he had to wait for God’s timing even whilst the present king was trying to kill him. Jonathan’s strength, commitment and loyalty to David must have been of inestimable comfort and encouragement to him.

Too often our main concern is our life, our ministry, our church and yet God may be calling us to support, strengthen and encourage someone whose success may appear to be to our detriment. Yet in the Kingdom, we need never fear that. If we are fulfilling God’s plans for our life, we will always be successful even if we are not prominent. Too often people confuse success with prominence. Success in the Kingdom is measured by obedience; are we doing what God wants us to do and that may mean supporting someone else and making them successful.

We are called to serve – God and other people both Christians and those in the world. We need never fear other people’s success; rather we should rejoice in it knowing that God holds our destiny in his hands and we can trust him to bring his success to our lives.

Everbody likes a compliment - Abraham Lincoln

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. I Thessalonians 5: 11

When I first became a Christian, I was completely unable to say anything nice to or about others. My heart was so hurt and rejected that to say something complimentary about another was as difficult as walking on water. I could neither give nor take compliments. If someone complimented me, I was immediately suspicious of their motives and even if I deep down knew that their compliment was genuine and merited, I was embarrassed because I had such a deep sense of unworthiness.

I had been brought up in a highly competitive school environment where only the successful got commended. There was always someone better than me at everything and most were better behaved as well so a great sense of worthlessness pervaded my life. To compliment others was tantamount to admitting defeat and that others were better than I was and unworthiness also breeds an atmosphere of resentment and cynicism so saying something nice about others was a complete anathema for me.

Over the years though, I have learned to give and take compliments even though I still find it hard to receive them. Things changed because I had a good friend who always responded positively if I asked her about something. Her answer was always, ‘Yes’. That sounds like someone else we know!! (II Corinthians 1:20) I realised how negatively I always answered, how grudging I was and how there were not many nice things on my lips. I resolved to change.

It took some time but I tried, though I did not always succeed, to genuinely compliment or say something encouraging if possible.  This not only builds others up but it changes us on the inside. Genuine praise and encouragement given to others softens us and changes the atmosphere around us. People do not like to carp and criticise around an atmosphere of encouragement.

Yesterday someone said to me that they never got a compliment and didn’t know how to handle them. That is so sad. We all need to grow up in a positive environment.  I had to learn to say nice things to my children even though I felt no one ever said anything very encouraging to me which was probably not true, bearing in my mind my negative outlook on life!

As God healed me and my wounded heart, as I learned to forgive others and myself, I found I had a much more positive outlook on everything and everyone. That does not mean I go round heaping praise on all and sundry but I do try and say good things about people and situations.  So many people are desperate to have someone say something nice to them and we have the God of all hope and encouragement in our hearts. Let’s transform our worlds with positive words of strengthening and encouragement to those around us. I can assure you that as you do, you and the atmosphere and world around you will blossom.

Games Pastors

How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, “Your God reigns!” Isaiah 52:7

The Olympic Games are almost over; just two days to go and I have enjoyed watching just some of the action. There has been such joy for the athletes who have won medals and such disappointment for the many who may not have even qualified for a final.  Yet all of them have displayed such dedication and determination. They have trained for years sometimes for a few seconds of a race and behind every athlete is a team of just as dedicated and determined coaches, physiotherapists, psychologists, dieticians and so on.

All of them will have been there during the years of training through the cold, dark winter months, the early mornings, the hours in the gym or pool and though they may not have been running, swimming, rowing or participating in the actual race, they have played a vital part in the success of the athlete.  Only one person may have actually won the medal but the support team made it all possible.

For the last two weeks I have been a Games Pastor working on some of London stations.  Every day we walk for hours round the station talking to people, helping them on their way, encouraging them and talking about faith when appropriate. We have even been able to pray with people.  Behind me though has been my support team of encouragers, prayers and intercessors supporting me on my journey. 

I have met so many interesting people and talked to many from travellers to the police who have come to London from all over the UK, the Network Rail people who normally work in offices around the country who for two weeks are supplying vital information to travellers, to the security staff who have made sure everyone gets on their way safely.  Everyone has served with good humour and kindness. I have met those eager to find a greater depth of meaning to their lives and those whose lives are in a mess. I have met those who profess no belief to born again Christians happy to talk about their faith.

Behind all of my endeavours and the work of Games Pastors is the support team whose sterling work has made it all possible. I am sure many Games Pastors would have given up weary beyond measure and discouraged if it had not been for the dedicated prayers and encouragement of those at home faithfully praying.

In the Olympics only the athlete gets the medal. The support team do not.  In the Kingdom we all get the medal, we all get to share in the success of the one on the front line.  You may not be called to be out there but your support in prayers, finances and encouragement is vital and your reward assured. Do not believe the lie that your prayers are insignificant; they are the vital lifeline to give strength, faith and encouragement to the one who is bringing the Kingdom to others.

Today ‘let us not become weary in doing good’ (Galatians 6: 9) but be encouraged that your prayers make such a difference and your reward in the work is assured. God sees and knows and he is so proud of every one of us involved in the business of the Kingdom bringing good news, life and hope to the poor.

A tribute to Michelle

I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.  John 12: 24

Today I had the privilege of going to a celebration of the life of Michelle. She was a young lady I taught 10 years ago who had been killed in a car accident in Ireland aged just 21. She was a remarkable young lady who, despite her short life, had greatly impacted many people as was evidenced by the hundreds who attended the celebration. They were of all ages from babies to old people, from many countries and reflected family, friends, school mates, university friends, teachers and church family.

The celebration was unlike anything I had been to before and took the form of an opportunity for anyone to share a thought, poem, letter, e mail, song, dance and even a magic trick. The one thing that came through over and over again was Michelle’s love for the Lord and her love for life. She lived life to the full, was a wonderful friend and great fun. She loved to sing, dance, worship, play practical jokes, laugh and just hang out with anyone. She was a huge source of encouragement to many people and as people read out things she had written it was obvious that she was funny but also had a wisdom way beyond her years. She infected everyone with whom she came into contact with an enthusiasm essential in a generation of cynical young people.

She was not one of those people who sail through life with no difficulties – she had had quite a share of troubles but she refused to blame God for anything. She was convinced that God loved her and everyone else and was the true source of every good and perfect gift. Even at the end she was in Ireland to visit someone who had just become a Christian to strengthen and encourage them.

Her great heart was for people to know Jesus and to know him to the full. Life was a gift and one to be lived to the fullest one could.  She was as source of great joy to all who knew her. So why did she, who had everything to live for, die at such a young age. I really do not know. All I know is that of the many seeds she generously planted around the world, they will each bear a harvest of righteousness that will far outlive her short life. I am convinced that people who never knew her will be impacted by her life as the seeds she sowed bear fruit.

My prayer and desire is to have the same ‘live life to the fullest’ approach to my life as Michelle did and to try to be a source of encouragement to all I come into contact with. God bless you Michelle. Enjoy heaven! I’ll see you again one day.

Walking with God

Enoch was a man who walked with God and who pleased God.  He appears in Genesis chapter 5 and then amongst the great men and women of faith in Hebrews 11.  We don’t know much about him but what we do know about him can be very helpful to us in our Christian life. 

Enoch walked with God for over 300 years.  It says in the Amplified Bible that he walked in habitual fellowship with God. Then in Hebrews it says that Enoch pleased God.  The two things must surely be connected.

Our Christian life is often called our walk.  A walk implies three things: progress is being made, the progress is at a steady pace (not stop – start, running, hopping or skipping) and it is a voluntary act, no one makes you.  If we think of Enoch for 300 years he voluntarily, in habitual fellowship made progress with God.  What a testimony.

Too often our Christian walk can be a very stop – start affair with many diversions and comfort breaks where we take comfort in things other than the things of God.  But God is so patient with us and though he will never make us or drag us along the path, he will persistently encourage us to make progress through habitual fellowship with him.  This takes time to learn but God never gives up. 

Can I encourage you to not give up on God or yourself even if the road you are walking at the moment is bumpy and hard?  God is with you, he never leaves you and if you place your hand in his, he will give you the strength to walk the path and the love and encouragement to stand up and start making progress again.