A sense of belonging

There is a Hillsong song that says, ‘Jesus I believe in you, Jesus I belong to you. You’re the reason that I live, the reason that I sing with all I am.  A sense of belonging is essential to each one of us for our identity, security and general well being. We get this sense of belonging from the people and places around us. 

As Christians our sense of belonging should come from our identity as children of God. This is strengthened by our Christian family of friends and church. The family is God’s plan for people, both naturally and spiritually. It is in our natural family where we initially forge our greatest sense of belonging. The same is true in God’s family but it is when the family breaks down, either in the natural one or in the church that some big problems can occur.

It is when we feel let down, hurt and rejected by parents, brothers and sisters or in the church by our Christian friends or leaders that our sense of belonging to these invaluable institutions begins to unravel..  We may then exchange our family or Christian sense of belonging by finding  people and communities who have not hurt us. This situation is always made worse in churches by the feeling that Christians shouldn't behave like this; that they should know better.

I am sure we can all think of people who have left the church or even backslidden because of what a Christian or a church has said or done.  It is heart breaking when this happens. These people have found greater love and acceptance from the world than from Christians and the church.

However, when the church loves, honours and works together in unity and always tries to deal with difficulties it becomes a very powerful family and individuals have a strong sense of belonging and identity. When churches then try and work together across denominations or even nations, the sense of belonging it engenders can help people feel they are working together for something much bigger than themselves or even the locality.  As Psalm 133 says, ‘How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity! … For there the Lord bestows his blessing, even life for evermore.’ God blesses unity.

The church is at it most effective in outreach when we show love to the world based on love within the local church and even more love across churches. Jesus said, ^‘By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.’(John 13: 35). 

When the world looks at a church full of saints who have such a strong sense of belonging both to God and one another that instead of complaining and criticising one another they love and honour others, then that becomes extremely attractive to unbelievers.

A sense of belonging is so important to each one of us. If you don’t feel you belong either to God or the local church, ask him today to help you understand why, to forgive any who have hurt you and to forge the strong bonds of love and unity with others that will help you feel the love and acceptance that a child of God should have. 

Honour your father and mother

³ Jesus replied, “And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? ⁴ For God said, ‘Honour your father and mother’ and ‘Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.’  ⁵ But you say that if a man says to his father or mother, ‘Whatever help you might otherwise have received from me is a gift devoted to God,’ ⁶ he is not to ‘honour his father’ with it. Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition. Matthew 15: 3 – 6

The Pharisees came to Jesus to complain about why his disciples were not keeping the tradition of the elders by not washing their hands before they ate.  I find it interesting that of all the examples Jesus could have used to show their hypocrisy, he used God’s command to honour your father and mother.  The Jewish leaders had introduced a huge number of  ‘traditions’ for the people to follow which were weighing them down with their demands and they were even being used to circumvent God’s laws.  Jesus took them back to God’s law and reminded them that not keeping it, even for what sounds like a very good reason, was not right and his commands were far more important that the traditions of the elders.

In the Ten Commandments it actually says ‘Honour your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you’ Exodus 20:12. It was not just a social nicety to honour your parents but had a condition attached to it of living long in the land.

In this day and age it is vital that Christians promote a positive attitude to parenting by both helping our children honour us and not let them be disrespectful and by being gracious and appreciative of our parents.  Most parents need all the help they can get – it has to be one of the most difficult jobs to do well – and God regards it as vital. Bringing up children in his ways with a proper respect for others is essential.

For some it is an easy thing to honour parents but for others whose parents may have been abusive or have deserted them, it can be very hard. Honouring them can feel like eating sawdust – it chokes them. However God did not say honour your parents when they make a good job of it or are nice to you.  Honouring is unconditional. So how can we do this for parents who have not been good to us? I believe the way we talk about our parents is vital. If we have or had good parents let’s be thankful and appreciative even if they have become difficult in old age and even if they were the most dreadful people let us honour God by being gracious and forgiving to them. Letting go of the past brings release to our lives and not speaking ill of bad parents honours us. 

Even the best parents make mistakes but it is always a shame when we only fully appreciate them after they have gone. So whether dead or alive, good or bad let’s talk positively to and about our parents and honour God as we honour them.

The blessing of unity

The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I don’t need you’ and the head cannot say to the feet, ‘I don’t need you. I Corinthians 12: 21

Some years ago a friend said to me, ‘You know, someone else does not have to fail in order for you to succeed.’  This was a bit of a revelation for me because unknowingly that was exactly what I thought and it was obvious enough for my friend to say so to me.

My wrong thinking that success for me was at the expense of someone else’s failure was a lie that needed exposing.  We are called to be a body working together not a set of spare parts competing for top spot.  Our greatest and most fruitful moments come when we work together. If I am a finger I do not compete against the thumb but work with it to achieve something neither of us could do separately.

There are two problems in most churches and certainly between churches and one is the confident people working independently and the other is those lacking in confidence feeling they have nothing to contribute. Both are wrong. The over confident need to start working better with others and the timid need to realise and start to operate in the gifting and function that God has placed in them.

The body needs all the parts operating well together to fulfil what God has called it to do.  This is true unity.  Others do not have to fail in order for us to succeed but if we are to succeed we need to work together in unity blessing what is going on and honouring one another. At the end of the day it is not about personal success or failure or even our church’s success or failure but all about God. Do we honour him with our words, our service and our attitudes? Do we bring him glory in what we do?

We are the body of Christ. Let each one of us play our part and bring glory to him in all we do.