We were standing watching our three grandchildren play on a large stack of hay bales and nearby two other grandparents were watching their three-year-old grandson try and emulate our much older grandchildren. His grandfather urged him, ‘Come on Flinty. You can do it,’ and with another huge effort Flinty finally managed to scramble up these enormous hay bales and stand triumphant at the top.
I realised afresh at that moment the importance of grandparents. They have so much to impart and are not there to undermine parents’ hard work as has been jokily suggested, but to support and strengthen the raising of the next generation by investing skills, character and of course faith in their children’s children. Since then I seem to keep coming across people who relate the great inspiration that grandparents have had on their lives.
I think that there are four main ways that grandparents can influence their grandchildren.
Time
Grandparents, even those who are still in work, have more time than parents. Unlike parents, they are often no longer involved in the nitty gritty of domestic life of children with all the pressures that brings, as well as holding down often very responsible jobs. Grandparents can spend quality time talking, playing and modelling life. They can help with childcare in the holidays or cover evenings and weekends if parents are working shifts.
Even grandparents separated by distance from grandchildren can share lives through the internet these days.
Skills and talents
Grandparents have had a lifetime of developing skills, talents and knowledge that is a great enjoyment to share. Even if in the early days it is playing endless games of snap, doing jigsaws for the thousandth time or kicking a ball in the garden, there is the joy of knowing that soon their grandchildren will want to play more sophisticated games and start developing skills. Grandparents can unearth and develop hidden talents that busy parents just don’t have time for.
Grandparents also have a huge body of knowledge to share with eager minds as well as the pleasure of visiting places at the weekends or holidays.
Grandchildren will also no doubt be able to teach their grandparents quite a bit about technology and the modern world that is so rapidly changing and this leads me to the next area of grandparents’ influence.
Character
Wonderful though sharing life and skills with grandchildren may be, one of the great privileges of grandparenting is motivating and developing character. This can be a real challenge for parents with their busy lives but grandparents can take the time to talk through the challenges of modern life. Like Flinty’s grandparents they can teach resilience, perseverance and determination. They can help develop patience, kindness, honesty, integrity. They can show the hollowness and sham of the fame and celebrity culture and that though making and having loads of money may seem fantastic, there are other things in life of far greater value.
They can also teach and reinforce manners, politeness, putting others first – such important qualities in this egocentric, highly entitled culture.
Faith
Finally the jewel in the grandparents’ crown has to be sharing and developing faith. What a privilege to talk and model the Christian life, not a dull set of rituals and disciplines but a love walk with our wonderful Saviour that is of far greater value than anything the world has to offer. Even if at the time, it seems like our words and life are having little impact, seeds have been planted and with prayer these seeds will bring forth a harvest of righteousness in due course. There is so much encouragement in the Bible that training children and grandchildren in godliness is never a waste of time.
I love the story that Alan Vincent tells of how his grandmother gave him a Bible every year that he promptly threw in the bin. He knew she was praying but he didn’t want her prayers or Bibles. However when the time was ripe, God intervened in his life in Sovereign power and he became a great apostle of faith.
Your prayers can literally change and affect your grandchildren’s destiny.
Grandparents, your role in the lives of your grandchildren is of great worth. It may be exhausting and you may collapse on the settee after they have left but something of eternal significance has been invested even through the most mundane tasks or games. So many children grow up in loveless situations and need someone to show they care. Children with grandparents who are involved are very blessed.
I believe we have a mandate from God to invest in our grandchildren’s lives in as many ways as we can. .Even if distance, ill health or other commitments mean we are unable to do as much as we would like, every prayer, every phone or video call, text, and email matters. This is of everlasting value and one day as we spend eternity with our extended family, we will treasure afresh every moment we invested in our grandchildren’s lives.
