Overcoming disappointment

Then you will know that I am the Lord; those who hope in me will not be disappointed. Isaiah 49: 23

It was a hot, sunny, summer Sunday and an ice cream was just what was needed and not just any ice cream but a proper delicious ice cream cone. So after a quick Google search we found what appeared to be just the thing – Dawlishious ice cream – straight from a farm of Jersey dairy cows. It even had the little knife and fork symbol on the map to denote it was an eatery. Perfect.

The last time we ate ice cream straight from the farm was in America at Richardson’s Farm and Ice Cream Emporium – a massive establishment that served cones and sundaes in 30+ flavours from a multitude of serving hatches.

Now I didn’t expect something quite like that but I did have in mind a small shop serving ice cream cones with maybe a few tables under umbrellas to sit and enjoy our treat. Mrs Google guided us to our destination but when we arrived there was nothing but the farm – no ice cream place. We turned around and made a second pass and found in the farmyard a garden shed from which one could purchase tubs of ice cream in a variety of flavours. No cones, no tables or umbrellas, no one serving just a shed with a freezer and a phone number for service.

The cup of disappointment was deep – my expectations had far exceeded the reality.

Unfortunately that can be the case with life. Too often our expectations, based on previous experiences, far outweigh the reality and set us up for the fall of disappointment. Of course life’s disappointments come in far larger measure than my ‘no show’ ice cream parlour. In fact just recently I have been amazed at how often I expect things to turn out a certain way either because that is ‘always’ how it happens or because that is what happened last time and then find that something completely different occurs.

So how do we cope with life’s disappointments especially the hard ones, the big ones, the life changing ones? How do we deal when a spouse walks out of a marriage that we had such high hopes for or a child who made a commitment to the Lord when younger has now turned their back on God and is not just into a secular life but one dominated by alcohol or drugs? Or in my case when Church and Church leaders have behaved or done things that are not what would expect from Christians?

Unfortunately, over many years, I have been part of churches where leaders and other Christians have behaved in such ungodly ways. I have seen weak leaders overcome by sin and selfish ambition struggling with addictions and the devil’s favourite traps of fame, fortune and females. How do we deal with these situations?

Personally I was so disappointed, hope had disappeared and I was overwhelmed by the great British disease of cynicism. I wasn’t looking for perfection but I did expect leaders of integrity who would honestly seek God and try to the best of their ability to lead their churches into God’s plans and purposes. Churches filled with the power of the Spirit, walking in the fruit and gifts of the Spirit – not churches full of lies, self-ambition and naked sin.

I was sitting in a huge pit of disappointment struggling with hopelessness and a strong desire to give up. I expect we can all identify with this in our own disappointments. BUT God – he didn’t want me to give up, he still had plans and purposes for my life so as I prayed and wept over the frustration and disillusionment I found he is indeed the God of all hope and to him I turned.

Gradually he guided me to people of wise counsel, some encouraging podcasts and messages on the internet till I was ready to make the decision to not dwell in my pit but choose to trust God and let him lift me up on wings like eagles. I turned a corner and where I had found situations almost impossible to engage with I now found things shifting. The situation hadn’t changed – I had.

Life is full of disappointments – big and very small.  We can blame these circumstances for our cynicism and hopelessness or we can turn to our God of all hope to heal our wounded hearts and show us the way out – upwards and onwards. 

I truly pray you will find God in the midst of your disappointments to be the God of hope whose love and encouragement will spur you on to not give up, not give in:

And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, ² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy that was set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³ Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12: 1 – 3