Everbody likes a compliment - Abraham Lincoln

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. I Thessalonians 5: 11

When I first became a Christian, I was completely unable to say anything nice to or about others. My heart was so hurt and rejected that to say something complimentary about another was as difficult as walking on water. I could neither give nor take compliments. If someone complimented me, I was immediately suspicious of their motives and even if I deep down knew that their compliment was genuine and merited, I was embarrassed because I had such a deep sense of unworthiness.

I had been brought up in a highly competitive school environment where only the successful got commended. There was always someone better than me at everything and most were better behaved as well so a great sense of worthlessness pervaded my life. To compliment others was tantamount to admitting defeat and that others were better than I was and unworthiness also breeds an atmosphere of resentment and cynicism so saying something nice about others was a complete anathema for me.

Over the years though, I have learned to give and take compliments even though I still find it hard to receive them. Things changed because I had a good friend who always responded positively if I asked her about something. Her answer was always, ‘Yes’. That sounds like someone else we know!! (II Corinthians 1:20) I realised how negatively I always answered, how grudging I was and how there were not many nice things on my lips. I resolved to change.

It took some time but I tried, though I did not always succeed, to genuinely compliment or say something encouraging if possible.  This not only builds others up but it changes us on the inside. Genuine praise and encouragement given to others softens us and changes the atmosphere around us. People do not like to carp and criticise around an atmosphere of encouragement.

Yesterday someone said to me that they never got a compliment and didn’t know how to handle them. That is so sad. We all need to grow up in a positive environment.  I had to learn to say nice things to my children even though I felt no one ever said anything very encouraging to me which was probably not true, bearing in my mind my negative outlook on life!

As God healed me and my wounded heart, as I learned to forgive others and myself, I found I had a much more positive outlook on everything and everyone. That does not mean I go round heaping praise on all and sundry but I do try and say good things about people and situations.  So many people are desperate to have someone say something nice to them and we have the God of all hope and encouragement in our hearts. Let’s transform our worlds with positive words of strengthening and encouragement to those around us. I can assure you that as you do, you and the atmosphere and world around you will blossom.