Overcoming disappointment

Then you will know that I am the Lord; those who hope in me will not be disappointed. Isaiah 49: 23

It was a hot, sunny, summer Sunday and an ice cream was just what was needed and not just any ice cream but a proper delicious ice cream cone. So after a quick Google search we found what appeared to be just the thing – Dawlishious ice cream – straight from a farm of Jersey dairy cows. It even had the little knife and fork symbol on the map to denote it was an eatery. Perfect.

The last time we ate ice cream straight from the farm was in America at Richardson’s Farm and Ice Cream Emporium – a massive establishment that served cones and sundaes in 30+ flavours from a multitude of serving hatches.

Now I didn’t expect something quite like that but I did have in mind a small shop serving ice cream cones with maybe a few tables under umbrellas to sit and enjoy our treat. Mrs Google guided us to our destination but when we arrived there was nothing but the farm – no ice cream place. We turned around and made a second pass and found in the farmyard a garden shed from which one could purchase tubs of ice cream in a variety of flavours. No cones, no tables or umbrellas, no one serving just a shed with a freezer and a phone number for service.

The cup of disappointment was deep – my expectations had far exceeded the reality.

Unfortunately that can be the case with life. Too often our expectations, based on previous experiences, far outweigh the reality and set us up for the fall of disappointment. Of course life’s disappointments come in far larger measure than my ‘no show’ ice cream parlour. In fact just recently I have been amazed at how often I expect things to turn out a certain way either because that is ‘always’ how it happens or because that is what happened last time and then find that something completely different occurs.

So how do we cope with life’s disappointments especially the hard ones, the big ones, the life changing ones? How do we deal when a spouse walks out of a marriage that we had such high hopes for or a child who made a commitment to the Lord when younger has now turned their back on God and is not just into a secular life but one dominated by alcohol or drugs? Or in my case when Church and Church leaders have behaved or done things that are not what would expect from Christians?

Unfortunately, over many years, I have been part of churches where leaders and other Christians have behaved in such ungodly ways. I have seen weak leaders overcome by sin and selfish ambition struggling with addictions and the devil’s favourite traps of fame, fortune and females. How do we deal with these situations?

Personally I was so disappointed, hope had disappeared and I was overwhelmed by the great British disease of cynicism. I wasn’t looking for perfection but I did expect leaders of integrity who would honestly seek God and try to the best of their ability to lead their churches into God’s plans and purposes. Churches filled with the power of the Spirit, walking in the fruit and gifts of the Spirit – not churches full of lies, self-ambition and naked sin.

I was sitting in a huge pit of disappointment struggling with hopelessness and a strong desire to give up. I expect we can all identify with this in our own disappointments. BUT God – he didn’t want me to give up, he still had plans and purposes for my life so as I prayed and wept over the frustration and disillusionment I found he is indeed the God of all hope and to him I turned.

Gradually he guided me to people of wise counsel, some encouraging podcasts and messages on the internet till I was ready to make the decision to not dwell in my pit but choose to trust God and let him lift me up on wings like eagles. I turned a corner and where I had found situations almost impossible to engage with I now found things shifting. The situation hadn’t changed – I had.

Life is full of disappointments – big and very small.  We can blame these circumstances for our cynicism and hopelessness or we can turn to our God of all hope to heal our wounded hearts and show us the way out – upwards and onwards. 

I truly pray you will find God in the midst of your disappointments to be the God of hope whose love and encouragement will spur you on to not give up, not give in:

And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, ² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy that was set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³ Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12: 1 – 3

Choose life

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live. Deuteronomy 32:19

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. II Corinthians 10:5

There can be times in our lives, when we seem to keep stumbling over the same issue. This may be a past hurt, disappointment, deep regret, an issue of forgiveness or something similar that seems to haunt us. Recently I kept stumbling over some similar circumstances and instead of jumping over them, they caused me to stumble every time.  A good friend of mine gave me this advice:

Choose life.

What she meant was that whenever one of these things came up, instead of dwelling on the past hurt, disappointment, regret or unforgiveness all of which can lead us in a fruitless circle that brings no release - choose life. Choose to take that thought captive which keeps making you stumble and refuse to dwell on it. Instead fill your mind with thoughts of life. These may be thoughts of thankfulness, forgiveness, salvation, healing, God’s goodness, faithfulness, grace, mercy and so on. We should declare God’s truth instead of thinking about those things that have gone wrong.

Soon after my friend said this to me, a thought about something painful came to my mind. I was just about to share it when I realised where this would lead. Instead I took the thought captive and replaced it with thoughts of life and thankfulness.

Choosing life is not the same as sweeping things under the carpet and pretending something has never happened. It means recognising something was hard, difficult, disappointing and that maybe someone, including yourself, may need forgiving. However having done that, instead of focusing on these things, you choose instead to look at the positive Godly aspects of life.

Martin Luther said, ‘You may let a bird fly over your head but you do not have to let it land in your hair and make a nest.’ By which he meant that thoughts may come flying past but we do not have to let them land and make a home in our minds.

Today if you keep stumbling over an issue, can I encourage you to stop letting it dominate your life and instead take the thoughts captive and ‘choose life’ which will bring freedom and joy to you. 

Keeping our faith

These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect. Hebrews 11: 39 – 40

Hebrews 11 is the wonderful chapter about the Old Testament men and women of faith from righteous Abel through to the prophets. Many of them triumphed in their faith yet others suffered terribly facing persecution, imprisonment and even martyrdom. Yet the chapter concludes by saying that none of these wonderful saints of old, though commended for their faith, received what was promised; the fulfillment of their faith found in Jesus Christ, the Messiah. 

I find this fact very inspiring that they never gave up but died still believing that what God had said was true. Their faith was not in vain because though they did not see it, God brought about what he had promised. Now, these men and women of faith will be joining with us who have come to faith through Jesus Christ and together we will be made perfect.

Like these saints of old, we too may not see those things we are believing for but we must not give in to disappointment, doubt and unbelief.  These will rob us of our faith.  The object of our faith may be personal; the salvation of a loved one or work colleague or for our healing or it may be that we are believing God for a mighty revival in our nation or anticipating the return of Jesus Christ.

We may see any of these events or we may not but we must maintain our faith, trusting that what God has said will be fulfilled whether we see it or not. Alan Vincent (one of my heroes of the faith) says that for years his grandmother prayed for him yet she never saw him saved. However she never lost faith and took her ‘faith cheque’ to heaven and cashed it there. Her grandson was not just saved but became ‘a faith-filled, devil destroying warrior for a grandson.’

I don’t know about you but I can become very disappointed when I do not see the things I am believing God for. However today I want to rise up in fresh faith, shake off  my disappointment and declare before God that whether or not I see my loved ones saved, revival in UK or whatever, I will not let go and slide into doubt and unbelief but I will trust that what God has said will be accomplished .

Lord Jesus, today I raise my eyes afresh to you and ask that you will forgive me for doubting you and letting disappointment and unbelief creep into my life. Please will you strengthen me afresh today so that whether I see the things I am praying and trusting you for, or whether I do not, I will still be found in faith in Christ Jesus? Amen. 

God of all hope

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15: 13

Hope is as essential to our lives as the air we breathe. Without hope, life begins to shut down and close in. For the Christian, hope is not an optimistic wish for future things but hope is a trust in the goodness of God; that despite the circumstances, God is good and will bring forth good things.  

Most Christians, I am sure, would agree with this but for some there can be areas of our life where hope has died and when that happens it is as if we close the door to any further hope in that area to save ourselves from future disappointment. There are many areas where this could happen but some examples are being single, childlessness, bereavement and grief, separation and divorce, church life and ministry, unemployment and failure. So often it feels like hope has been dashed and in order to function, we put our lost hope and disappointment into a room and close the door.

However God does not want us to have closed doors in our lives as they can lead to further difficulties and a bitterness of spirit. The only way to keep the door open on our deep hurts and disappointments is to establish in our own lives that God is good and has good things for his children. As Steve Backlund says, ‘hope expects and knows that things will ultimately work out in a good way.’

Whatever has happened is not because God is punishing us. God has not stopped loving us and God does not want to teach us a lesson in a negative sense. Some of these past hurts may have come about because we have made poor choices or even sinned. God wants to bring healing and hope again into these areas.

Today if fear is gripping your heart and you dare not trust God in an area where you have lost hope, start with this declaration and prayer:

God I trust you because you are a good God and want only good things for my life. I am so sorry if I have in any way caused these difficulties but I will not blame anyone for what has happened. I forgive any who have been instrumental in what has happened including myself. Today I choose to believe that you will bring good out of this. I open the door of my hurt to your healing love and restoration and I receive your hope. In Jesus Name Amen.

 

 

 

God's ways are perfect

This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfil my gracious promise to bring you back to this place.  ¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  ¹⁴I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.” Jeremiah 29: 10 – 14

We are all very familiar with verse 11 of this famous passage from Jeremiah but let’s take a look at the verse that precedes it. Jeremiah had sent a letter to the exiles in Babylon from Jerusalem where he was still living with those who had not been taken into exile. He gives them the devastating news that they are going to be in Babylon for 70 years. They had hoped they would return very soon and now for most of them, they knew they would never see Jerusalem again.

This is why verse 11 is so important both to the Jewish people then and to us because even in the midst of great disappointments when all our hopes and plans have evaporated God still has plans to prosper us and give us a hope and a future. God assured the Jews that he would bring them back from exile but many would know it would be their children and not them who would return.

They were in an unenviable position as they had no choice but to stay in Babylon – they could not go back to Jerusalem. God told them through Jeremiah’s letter to settle down, build houses and build a new life for themselves. They could choose though how they lived in Babylon; bitter and disappointed or believing that God did indeed have good plans for them.

Sometimes when things do not work out the way we had hoped especially in churches, the temptation is to get up and leave. Sometimes this is the right thing to do but often it is not. Leaving a church is never easy and should not be done lightly. We leave because God says it is time to move on not because someone has hurt and disappointed us. God brought his people back to Jerusalem in his timing and God will move us when it is right for us.

I have learned so much through the difficult and disappointing church moments even though I have not enjoyed them. Underlying the difficulties and disappointments is the thread that God has good plans for my life and I can trust him. So whatever the situation we are facing, wait for God and look to him for guidance, affirmation and approval. He will not let us down and his timing really is perfect.

The road to Emmaus

It was on that first Easter day, the first day of the week after the crucifixion of Jesus that two downcast and disappointed disciples were walking away from Jerusalem to a village called Emmaus. The only thing they could talk about was the events of the weekend; the crucifixion of Jesus, the awful sense of loss and disappointment and the dashing of all their hopes. Into this conversation comes Jesus unbeknown to them.

I love this story because as I said in this blog on 21^st February (hope does not disappoint us), the two disciples had everything they needed to give them hope. The evidence was there but it just needed Jesus to come and make sense of it for them.

I have had times when circumstances seem to have gone all wrong. I know the theory that God never leaves or forsakes us, that God is utterly reliable and can be trusted so why was everything so awful?  On one of those occasions, when those dear to me had been disappointed and let down, I felt so devastated. It seemed God had just walked away and left us high and dry at a most important time and I could not make sense of it. Then suddenly God appeared and I was led to Psalm 13 which starts, ‘How long O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? This psalm ends, but I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord for he has been good to me.’ This became a raw confession of faith that God is good and will not let us down. Despite the circumstances to the contrary God had not left us and his unfailing love was just that, unfailing. Jesus had appeared in our midst and hope and faith arose. Without any evidence to support it, faith had arrived and said all would be well – and it was. It was the final battle before the breakthrough but the breakthrough was promised and a few days later it arrived.

Those disciples were hanging on by their finger nails trying to make sense of the circumstances of Jesus’ death. Jesus came and walked with them and as he explained all the pieces came together. Finally revelation came to them that it was the risen Lord himself who was with them. Immediately, though it was now dark, they hurried back up the road of disappointment to the place of defeat but they went in great victory and they shared their news with the fearful disciples. Jesus then came and presenced himself in their midst. All was well.  

Today if you are facing circumstances that just do not make sense, let me assure you God has not abandoned you and he can be trusted. He will bring good out of our darkest hours. He will bring revelation and enlightenment to those things that are baffling him. Take heart – God is with us.

Hope does not disappoint us

 'And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out (and continues to pour out) his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.'   Romans 5:5 

my words in brackets

Disappointment is one of the most crippling conditions known to man as it saps hope from our lives.  Without hope, life is very dismal.  In the Bible hope does not refer to an optimistic anticipation of some future event; hope is the sure expectation of God doing what he has promised which is why Paul was able to say so confidently that hope does not disappoint us.

Disappointment happens when we place our hope on anything other than God; exam results, career prospects, winning the lottery, getting married, having children, the pastor promoting our ministry, children looking after us in our old age, good health.  When we place our hope on these sorts of things all goes well till they let us down as they inevitably will. Then our world collapses and disappointment floods in.

As it says in Proverbs 13:12 ,’hope deferred makes the heart sick.’   Disappointment causes us to pull back from God and other people.  We feel like we have put our hope out there and we have become vulnerable and now we have been let down.  It makes us wary of trusting people and God and so we lose our expectation and hope to protect ourselves from further disappointment.

However Paul assures us that hope (the confident expectation of God’s goodness) will not disappoint us.  The two disciples on the road to Emmaus after Jesus’ death and resurrection were terribly disappointed (Luke 24:13 – 35).  They said to the risen Lord, not realising who he was, ‘but we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel’ (verse 21).  They had placed their hope in God but were still disappointed – why?  They explain to Jesus in great detail why they were disappointed but these very reasons should have been a source of hope not disappointment!  Jesus though was there in the midst and explained it all to them and then revelation comes!  They realise that Jesus himself has been with them all the time.  The very person they had hoped in, had not disappointed them.

If you are sitting with disappointment weighing heavily on you, take it to Jesus. Explain to him exactly why you are disappointed and let him bring you his hope in the midst of it.  You may have been placing your hope on things or people other than Jesus or you may just have misunderstood his workings in your life. 

 

Let God restore hope to you today and let him pour out and continue to pour out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit.