Honour your father and mother

³ Jesus replied, “And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? ⁴ For God said, ‘Honour your father and mother’ and ‘Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.’  ⁵ But you say that if a man says to his father or mother, ‘Whatever help you might otherwise have received from me is a gift devoted to God,’ ⁶ he is not to ‘honour his father’ with it. Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition. Matthew 15: 3 – 6

The Pharisees came to Jesus to complain about why his disciples were not keeping the tradition of the elders by not washing their hands before they ate.  I find it interesting that of all the examples Jesus could have used to show their hypocrisy, he used God’s command to honour your father and mother.  The Jewish leaders had introduced a huge number of  ‘traditions’ for the people to follow which were weighing them down with their demands and they were even being used to circumvent God’s laws.  Jesus took them back to God’s law and reminded them that not keeping it, even for what sounds like a very good reason, was not right and his commands were far more important that the traditions of the elders.

In the Ten Commandments it actually says ‘Honour your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you’ Exodus 20:12. It was not just a social nicety to honour your parents but had a condition attached to it of living long in the land.

In this day and age it is vital that Christians promote a positive attitude to parenting by both helping our children honour us and not let them be disrespectful and by being gracious and appreciative of our parents.  Most parents need all the help they can get – it has to be one of the most difficult jobs to do well – and God regards it as vital. Bringing up children in his ways with a proper respect for others is essential.

For some it is an easy thing to honour parents but for others whose parents may have been abusive or have deserted them, it can be very hard. Honouring them can feel like eating sawdust – it chokes them. However God did not say honour your parents when they make a good job of it or are nice to you.  Honouring is unconditional. So how can we do this for parents who have not been good to us? I believe the way we talk about our parents is vital. If we have or had good parents let’s be thankful and appreciative even if they have become difficult in old age and even if they were the most dreadful people let us honour God by being gracious and forgiving to them. Letting go of the past brings release to our lives and not speaking ill of bad parents honours us. 

Even the best parents make mistakes but it is always a shame when we only fully appreciate them after they have gone. So whether dead or alive, good or bad let’s talk positively to and about our parents and honour God as we honour them.